Why?

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How did this happen? Just two hours ago she was cradling that precious, baby girl in the nook of her arm. She had felt the baby's heart beating in her little chest circulating the blood throughout her body. She had watched her tiny chest rise and fall in quick rhythmic patterns as oxygen entered into her body giving her life. Now her arms were empty and cold. No little body there keeping her arms warm. No cries or whimpers indicating that the mother was needed to feed, change, hold, and love her. Just silence. A silence that was dreadfully eerie. It was so quiet in this life sucked house, that she could actually hear her heart breaking piece by piece. She could hear the expectations and dreams she had of mothering this little child whooshing out the window. Her own sobs were the only thing that made sound and by this time she was immune to her own sound. No longer would she be able to teach her child how to tie her shoe or to read a book. She wouldn't ever be able to sing her child to sleep nor would she be able to braid her hair and put her in darling dresses. Instead the shoes and dresses would remain in an unused closet as an ever daunting reminder that she was gone and wasn't coming back. There would be no ball games, dance recitals, piano lessons, giggling sleep overs, painted nails. No first date, first kiss, first love. As a result there would be no wedding, no grandchildren, no career. Instead there would be a tombstone in a dreary graveyard surrounded by other children who never got to experience life as long as they deserved. Oh what she she would give to have the tables turned! Why did it have to be her innocent newborn?! She was the one that had made stupid decisions in life, broken other's hearts, lied, cheated, sinned; not this child. Why deprive her of a happy life?! It just wasn't fair, and with a sigh she realized it never would be fair.

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There are plenty of people out there that are having to bury their tiny children. Children that haven't had time to "be a kid" nor have time to grow up and truly experience life. It is an extremely depressing thing and I am watching people around me as they sit in hospital rooms with their children strung up to machines that were keeping them alive, but at the

same time detained. It is a heart breaking scene to see a child ill and/or dying in a hospital room and it makes me sick as I see the parents and family loose hope day after day as the child becomes increasingly sick. I wish that no body had to go though this but unfortunately it is part of life. Fair or not, it is life. And although it seems like the world is ending and there is no

point, we all have to continue to trudge on because we are still here. We are living for them since

they couldn't stay with us long. We can't waste our ability to live because it is a gift. Sometimes it feels like a blessing, and other times a curse. Either way it is a gift and a duty. We can still mourn but that mourning only has a small time to exist throughout the days and then we must remember our goals and the things that we must accomplish and keep those lost ones with us in our hearts. We'll never forget them and they will never forget us and we WILL be reunited with them again. It may seem forever away, but the wait will be well worth it in the end.